Hungry for Adventure

Living near Los Angeles International Airport (LAX), I am blessed with many opportunities to shuttle friends and family in their travels. Yesterday my aunt returned from a major holiday in China. Though exhausted she had a great time.
I quickly shifted into "I would love to travel myself" mode. I love new things. New places. New experiences. Getting lost in strange places used to be one of my favorite, though unintended, pastimes.
I remember the time I lived in Jerusalem and got lost trying to find my way back from the Mount of Olives. I wandered through poorer neighborhoods of East Jerusalem until I, at last, recognized a boulevard I could follow home. I was young and unprepared for the worried verbal assaults that greeted my return by concerned neighbors. Evidently the safety of a fair-skinned American could have had a very different outcome.
Travel means different things to different people. I am almost always hungry for adventure.

Catapult(ed)

There is both something explosively powerful and dangerously out of control about the image of a catapult. Much of the distinction lies in where you see yourself in the metaphor. Many years have I worked to develop and hone skills of loading, aiming and mastering the catapult only to recognize more recently myself hurling through the air, arms and legs flailing desperately. Little control of my own. Still a lot of power involved. A major impact almost assured, though the same cannot be said of my personal survival.
It's not a question looking for resolution. Simply an image that teases out some of the tensions inherent in trying to live boldly.

Rejection Imaginings

Resistence to rejection, real or imagined. One understandable, one less so. Both my world. Love to help people. Hate to sell. One holy. One profane. Such harsh, rigid, unforgiving lines. Such a dangerous world to navigate I've created. Crash or soar. Bless or exploit. Embraced or shunned. Save me.

Liminal Unrealities

I grope my way through some sort of liminal space. It's feeling like it's been a long time. It's been years. I'm open to whatever the new normal might be like. I just want to be there already. What I suspect, though, is that the new normal will not be any version of normal at all. Learning to function on that side of the threshold may not involve being functional at all. Learning to navigate may not involve progress or orientation or directions. And if an arrival of some sorts at a "place" where I get to stay for a while isn't in the cards, I at least hope the dynamic of this richer, deeper, more mature reality feels like home. I'm still feeling my way around. I'm pretty sure I've a long ways to go.

Practice Practice

I'm reading Dallas Willard. Again.
The connection between the practice of spirituality and the practices of our physical bodies has been of inestimable value to me through the years. Always a fresh challenge. Never a condemning burden.
I need the ongoing challenge. I'm not sure what I do, but somehow I show up in relationships in such a way that no one in my life challenges me. Challenges me to excel, challenges me to grow, challenges me to be more than I am.
Dallas Willard's writingsare that challenge to me. A challenge to step to the plate. Assume the mantel of responsibility for my life. Cease minimizing my part in my choices. A challenge to embrace the life that God extends so freely to me.

Dawn's Courage

At dawn's first suggestion, discerning the darkness from the fog is no simple task. We inch forward, hoping that we progress forward instead of back, but not really certain. That we choose to move while early is an act of courage. The temptation to wait until the fog burns off is tangible. But the days are growing shorter, and the nights are already too long for complacency. Action is crucial. Decisions are constant. Reflection must be brief. Discernment must be on target. Roused from bed at dawn's first suggestion, we engage with life.

Thanks.

Winning Ideas

Everyone seems to move so quickly. They say there are no new ideas out there. But I must say it is additionally frustrating to see ideas I am working on take off elsewhere just as I'm developing them. Such is our world. We must press forward. Make our respective contributions. Let the flow of events and the multiple trajectories of creativity emerge onto the today into which yesterday I was planning as my tomorrow, and in light of which I must already adjust as my past.
I must say, though, that there is also the desire to win. Something about being first, seen, recognized, rewarded. To be a part of something incredible, influential, helpful and world-changing. To have high-school students assigned essays about what would the world be like if Karl hadn't made his contribution to the workplace culture revolution.
We'll leave it to others to debate whether we're on a flight of self-absorbed vanity or a determined trek toward fulfilling our destiny. I, for my part, must live my day.

Dream Work

Busy day ahead. Three writing projects to complete. I decided that instead of interpreting the pressure negatively, I needed to realize that I'm living my dream. So in a very real sense, such a day is a dream come true.
And, of course, what is a dream day except one begun with one's blog. Excuse me now. I have some "work" to do.

Discipline as Training

Discipline does not impose its way upon the will in order to override the will but to train the will. I am not diminished as a person by acceding to an externally governed structure, but am equipped to function better as a person. While there are certainly people and methods which provide forms of discipline in such a way as to diminish and control others, such effects are not inherent characteristics of discipline but dangerous and self-serving manipulations of those involved.
As I begin to recognize areas of life where my will is not serving me well, I would be wise to frame it as an issue of an ill-equipped will rather than a weak will. Rather than get down on myself for continuing to choose poorly, I would be better served to seek out training to teach my will, body, emotions and soul how to pull together.
Such training—while difficult, unnatural and forced initially—would result in a developed capacity, a healthy habit and an alignment between desire and choice.