Excuse or Shame

Looking for new ways to work on my weaknesses besides beating myself up for having them in the first place.
The extremes of shaming myself (where there is no room for being less than perfect) and excusing myself (where there is room for everything except demanding a higher standard from myself), aren't serving me well. I need something new. Something more like a compassionate self-challenge. Understanding of both the complexities of my foibles and the inestimable value of growing through them.
I know, somewhere way down deep that I cannot yet access, that someone healthier, stronger, more vibrant, poised and decisive is emerging. Part of me can't wait to meet him and has been very busy removing all obstacles to his arrival. Part of me is nervous, maybe threatened, by these changes, and has been masterfully sabotaging the preparation efforts. If I could only get these two guys to realize they're on the same team.