Uninitiated Lenses

In spite of methodically cautious process I find myself catapulted into an utterly alien realm. Efforts to minimize disruption and chaos don't always succeed as we might have anticipated or hoped. And so my world is new, and my life is new. Accompanying the freshness is a steep learning curve. And even with age visits the challenge to see as through uninitiated lenses.
Discipline and choices and the application of the will in the face of complex and undecipherable struggles within. Alternately at home and a stranger in my own body. Both at peace and restless within my own soul. Shuddering at the possibilities all within reach for both good and evil. The question is less, what will I reach for, as much as it is, will I reach at all.
It is just an assumption that dawn precedes sunset. What if the sunset precedes the dawn?